I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the creek and bawled my eyes out. My family needed me, but I couldn’t give them anything of myself. I had nothing to give. Why me? Why the hell me? Why let me fall in love so deeply, only to take it away from me? I couldn’t come to terms with the loss at all. At any point in any day, I would burst into tears. The loss of control I felt when these tears smothered me, scared me to death. I could be in my car driving in traffic to work, and suddenly this overwhelming ache would move up my shoulders, up the back of my neck and culminate in floods of tears. I’d arrive at work only to tell them I couldn’t cope and then drive home. I’d be working with the kids in the classroom and suddenly tears would stream down my face. I’d go home and sit on the couch in the lounge, with a cushion in my lap. Staring at nothing. Sitting there for hours. Until my family came home. Then I’d go into automatic pilot mode and cook. To my surprise though it was something quite different, and was about to introduce me to a whole new area of life, of which I knew nothing. Let me at this point state that I am heterosexual. Always have been. Never have had any experience with the same sex, sexually. I believed in the 3 F’s, “find them, fuck them and forget them.” Pussy around military bases is always plentiful. I had been involved in many long-term relationships, but when my tour of duty at that area was over with so was the relationship. Wan left, and came back shortly, with a bottle of lotion and clothed only in his skivvies. He instructed me to turn onto my belly, which I did. Wan than proceed to mount me, straddling my ass and proceeded to apply lotion to my back. He forthwith began to massage deeply my neck, shoulders and back. It felt wonderful, and deeply relaxing. I vaguely was aware of his balls and cock resting loosely on my ass, but choose to ignore it since the massage felt so good. After awhile he.
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